Writing about Movies, TV, Comics & Toys. Critically and creatively.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

An open letter to Sarah Palin

I don't want this to become a debate, but feel free to comment.

Dear Sarah,

           I feel it is a part of my civic duty to address you, as it seems almost everyone else in the country with a voice has opted in doing the same. Having failed to partake in these festivities it has come to my attention that now I must shed some light on my feelings of this matter. The matter in question being you.
          Every time I hear your name in the news, regardless of my mood or feelings prior, I am exhausted with rage. I bubble up with an overwhelming sense of hatred and pain. I attempt to circumvent anything related to you in the news, but living in one of the reddest of red states it is a difficult task. There are many driving forces behind this crippling dosage of bitterness I must endure when I see you mentioned in the press, I will take my time in listing them for you.
           The ignorance that I must sustain when reading your words or hearing your voice is a call to a style of living that seems unachievable without guidance in the ways of illiteracy and hatred. Making a list of these remarks is unnecessary (you are aware of them, they are your words after all). But the idea that someone could have achieved a position of power decided by the people and maintain your unruly style of speaking is astonishing. We all say things from time to time that come off as stupid, but I cannot imagine the amount of embarrassment I would feel from speaking some of the fiendish garbage you expel.
           I do not wish to imply that you are not a smart woman, because I am aware of what you've done . It would be a fool's mistake to think you were not intelligent to a degree, after all you have made many smart decisions in the years after your failed bid to be Vice President. These decisions are the evidence that you are completely aware of what you are doing and that while some consider you a dingbat two steps behind the fleshy critters that crawled from the primordial ooze, I know the truth.
           You are a shrewd negotiator and you have tapped into a well that, before your national presence, was seldom opened. It was what Richard Nixon referred to as “the silent majority”. It is from this well that you found your true profession. There are some people in society today that share the same Modus Operandi, and we refer to them as “Professional Celebrities”.You are nothing more than a money grubbing harlot, eager to smile and wave for a dollar. I've seen the figures you make from all your exploits.
           Apparently you were not satisfied with these wages for yourself and have begun the process of grooming your eldest daughter into this line of work as well. I am not foolish enough to think she made these decisions herself, I know your dirty paws were behind those ruddy curtains pulling the strings. Don't think that this is a problem I attribute only to you, I do not like the idea of anyone exploiting their children for financial gain, including Will Smith (and I'm a big fan of Men in Black & Independence Day). Sure your daughter is old enough to make decisions herself but I know how these things work. There isn't a oak tree's chance in hell that you don't make some sort of green from your daughter. By coaching your daughter in the art of the personal appearance market you are fueling a fire that is capable of crumbling American society far quicker than Barack's healthcare plan.
           But enough of my grievances with your personal and financial shams, we should touch on politics after all.

           I know you spout off rhetoric of what you would do if elected president, but have you for even one second actually considered what that position entails? As President of the United States you become one of the most powerful people in the world (and you WILL make less money from that salary than you currently do, trust me). As President you will be making decisions that will affect at MINIMUIM 300 million people. Can you grasp the sheer amount of people that this is? This is as I said the minimum, the maximum being that your decisions will affect the population of the world. If faced with these decisions will you be able to cease worrying about your own hide and work for the people that you are serving?
           Do not for a second pretend that you care about other people, much less anyone except yourself. We are all selfish to a degree, it is in our nature as humans. The level of selfishness that I see you aspire to is a marvel though. Few people can rightfully claim to have achieved a place on the podium of American political deviance and ruin, but consider yourself the most recent addition. Give my regards to Boss Tweed and Richard Nixon you devilish vixen.
           Do not think that the idea of you being President is repulsive to me because you are a woman. I'm more of an advocate for equal rights for women than most men in the state I live in, let alone the entire south eastern region. I have no qualms about a woman becoming President it is something that I am desperate to see happen in my lifetime, because it isn't difficult to see that woman are just as capable as men (if not more so) in nearly every aspect of life. I must say though I'd like my female President to be levelheaded, politically competent and not toiling down the road of wealth thinking it will make her happy.
           I also don't want you to think that there aren't things we agree on politically, because there are two. I am a big fan of firearms, like yourself, and I too worry about the dependence on foreign energy. But I do not worry that the government is “going to take my guns”, it is a constitutionally protected right. In regards to oil though however I do not think we should “drill here, drill now”, the dependence on foreign energy and fossil fuels can be solved with research put into renewable energy.
           It does not bother me in the least to think that in 100 years time that the routine fools on the street will not know my name or what I did as human being; however it fills me with heavenly joy in knowing the same hopeless crowd of doomed patriots won't know who you are too. Both our names will be lost in history and I would gladly sacrifice the ability to have a face in the spotlight to make sure this happened. I would consider asking you how it would make you feel, but after the above paragraphs I think it an obvious notion. I can see it now, you would be a bumbling mess, drowning on the floor in your own tears. You are a vile specimen.
           Do not think that I am some crazed anarchist, fighting to rid this country of order and leaders. Quite the contrary, I love democracy. I don't want to see the United States reduced to ash and rubble. I want to see it prosper, flourish, become a place that we can all be proud to live in once again. I think we're getting closer and closer on track to that but this cannot take place if you're maintaining a position center stage.

           I wish you a merry life and I hope you come away from it scathed and a stronger woman than you were when you entered this fragile and short existence that we must all endure. For how can we know that we've grown and achieved, let alone know anything about ourselves as a person if we have no scars?

With the most sincerity that I can muster to a bitter nemesis,
S. Perry